MONEY, a cultural taboo!!

 

We've heard people say that there is only one path to success and happiness. Going to school, getting good grades, getting into a good college, graduating to get a job, finding your partner, getting promoted, buying a car, a home and one day you will be happy. Like everyone I too am following that path and through all the trials and tribulations the financial disasters and successes. I realised that discussion about life milestones was actually a discussion about money. So, why is it that we talk religiously about achieving all these in life, avoiding the topic that runs it - M.O.N.E.Y. The reason behind why are we taught history and chemistry but not about Banking and investments. The topic of money impacting our abilities to have the best of lives is avoided. We are indirectly having these conversations about money already by the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the homes we live in and the photos we share on social media ! #just_saying 

Financial knowledge is life-changing and has empowered me to get from where I was to where I am today. Let’s understand and break the social taboo about money beginning with asking ourselves “WHAT IS MONEY TO US?”. Most of us have answers as common to:

1) Money is power 

2) Money is evil 

3) Money makes me feel good 

4) Money is something that is necessary 

The answer to that question explains  your relationship with money . Eliminating that any of those answers are wrong but simply money is a tool we need and we need to master earning it.  In order for us to achieve our best lives, we do not think of money as something more than a tool. But a tool that we need in order to build the life we dreamt of.The life that would make us proud so making us assume that money is a very complicated topic. Though there are simple truths about money which we fail to see, understand and imply in our lives. Here are five practices: 

1. Save more than you can spend. 

2. Invest early and frequently. 

3. Pay the debt and use credit occasionally. 

4. Build assets 

5. Have multiple and passive incomes. 

SIMPLE & EASY !

Financial Well Being 

Money, well being and financial wellness is something that empowers every individual. It sparks the curiosity when it funnels down to a fairly misunderstood concept that it's boring or it's not engaging enough. Everyone of us has either bought our friends a drink or split it. We tend to split the bill to a limit  where we had a salad and the friend had an appetiser wit dessert for dinner. The philosophy of purposeful living can be achieved through financial decision making. Financial wellness is about our health, wealth and the overall quality of life. It is has never been financial goals on the contrary it is about life goals. Let’s close our eyes, envision our dream lifestyle and ask ourselves: “What brings joy and happiness into my life?” 

We start thinking about our current financial realities - monthly instalments to the car, calling debtors, need of taking care of our ageing parents and their health care expenses. The chances are having thoughts about our financial situation but unable to think about the dream lifestyle. If there were no income goals or financial obligations how we spend our time defines our values and we trade our time for a pay check. We work 8 hours a day and five days a week for it ignoring the truth of loosing on something more priceless being our lives. The thought of expenses that do not matter to us makes it a complete waste. Therefore, what a waste of lives.

 How we knew everything about money?

1. Our parents must have taken out time and explained us through their learnings and definitions about money.

2. We are fortunate enough to take birth in a wealthy family.

It was easier for my parents to talk about religion, politics, career options and future responsibilities. Parents are hard-working, they make sure that we as their children have the best of food, shelter and clothes to wear whereas, they did not want us to think about money terming it as an offence. I still remember the day of my first pay check ,I held it in my hand and stared at it thinking I had my own money and I didn't have to go to my parents asking them.  Growing up I believed that money is the only answer to all problems leading me chasing money instead of chasing the purpose of life. I cleared entrance exams for admission and that followed an internship leading to multiple jobs. Motive was to stay happy one day!

With the past and present I had many unspoken realities, I started blogging. My family always wanted to know my plan for life because the goal is to provide access and information, to be open about my story. After spending years meeting people, jobs, failures and experiences I realised that the secrets of financial wellness and well-being is having a VISION for our lives. That vision can change our hopes and dreams. In our thoughts it is important when we are talking about money we need to clarify our values. We need a financial plan in order to do so.

I want to close off by mentioning that one Sunday Morning rides, we had been to a place nearby called the fog city, Igatpuri. It is indeed a beautiful place and I remember standing there staring out into the mountain range and seeing the morning dew. I was completely fascinated like I can be here forever. Well until that moment of mine was disrupted when two ridding pals said this is the same thing over and over again. As we were about to leave, I realised that we could be listening, watching or experiencing a repetitive or similar expression directly depends on how we perceive it. For the matter of fact, how we perceive that can be quite different. My learnings for that day was “Our perception is what matters and we can change our perspectives. When it comes to money we clear about our financial situation. As we accept that reality we start sharing our financial stories of success and failure.We give hope out to others where hope is hearing other people's experiences. Our ability to share the information or experiences to others empowers individuals. Now is when they realise that their situation is not something without a solution. I challenge you today to break the social taboo about money, free yourself from any shame, guilt or judgment you have had about your finances. Give hope to others and to yourself too. Believe that knowledge is power and financial knowledge is life-changing. This realisation mere understanding will make you happy that very moment. 

How Cultures Drive Behaviours

I was in Dubai. I was sitting by the JBR beach front which is one of the most visited public beaches in the city. Suddenly, a man came and sat next to me, and started talking to me, so I turned to him and I answered. Then I turned back and I asked myself, "Why is he talking to me?”. Suddenly, I realised, “Zohaib, you're becoming Indian.” So I turned to the man and I said, "Sorry, I live in a country where we have been guided that we don't speak to strangers.” In India, it is not that people don't speak to strangers or each other at all; though starting a conversation happens in a much more framed and thought over manner. I was not expecting this man as a stranger to come and talk to me. However, because I have spent my early childhood in the Gulf though another country where that type of behaviour is totally normal as there are Arabs and expatriates from various countries crossing each other regularly. However, my mental programming has changed soon after shifting base from Dammam, Saudi Arabia to Mumbai, India. My brain has been rewired, because during the last one and half decade I've lived in a secular country in south of Asia which is called India.

When you move to a different country, there are three ways that you can relate to the culture: you can confront, complain, or conform. When you confront, you strongly believe that your behaviours are the right ones. When you complain, you mostly isolate yourself into social bubbles of foreigners living in social structures with the society. And finally when you confront, you adapt your way to behave to the whole society, then you can truly benefit from diversity. But that implies that you are observing, learning, understanding the behaviours of others and adapting your own to fit yourself in the behaviours of the society you're in.

I was in the east of Saudi Arabia, in a beautiful region of Mecca and I was there with my parents for a pilgrimage. We were visiting the beautiful region where our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) first received revelations and divine messages revealed by angel Gabriel from 609-632 C.E. in a cave on Mount Hira (a.k.a. Jabal an-Nour), near Mecca. After the guided tour, we asked some more questions to the guide as he was explaining us with passion about the importance of the cave and then suddenly he stopped. He took a step to my father he shook him. And then he looked at me and said, "Why is he not interested in what I'm saying?" Because he was not getting the emotional feedback he was used to receive. He was seeing his emotional feedback through his own cultural glasses. The fact that my father had a neutral face on what it would mean if someone from his culture would have that face and that would mean that the person was not interested or didn't want to be there. And we all see the world through cultural glasses.The lens through which your brain sees the world shapes your reality. If you can change the lens, not only can you change the way your brain perceives behaviours, but you can change the way people relate to cultural differences. Embedded within that statement is the key to benefiting from diversity.

Gender equality and women empowerment in India and across the world has been an important consideration from many years now. There are strict reservations for female candidates in education, profession, politics and much more. However, the reason for such consideration is that the governments are putting in place a social culture where women and men are considered with similar authorities and this is equality of result. Everyone do not get similar opportunities to flourish to their complete potential, but the result is that we still have a balance in society. We enforce diversity, and there is a good reason to do this. Cultural diversity increases problem-solving ability. It increases creativity and innovation. The real challenge, to make people being able to communicate well together. And this done majorly through explaining cultural differences. 

Most people around the world are raised with teachings that they will contribute to a group or society and interdependent on their members. This affects the way people behave. Other parts of the world, especially the Western world, children are raised to be independent and to be self-sufficient, and create an independent individual in society, and it changes their behaviours.

The Difference 

The basic principle tells a lot about how we are going to expect a friendship to look like. In Indian culture the friendship is much stronger. People are closely bound and  dependent on each other, invited to every event or celebration which the very good friend will do. However, in other cultures, friendship are distant. On asking a Scandinavian about what a good friend was like they will probably reply "It is someone I can sit in silence in a room and feel comfortable." If you tell this to an Indian, they won't understand what the principle is. This is about friendship, love, and contact with people is one of the six basic human needs. If you're not able to see how this friendship and love is communicated to you because you are blinded by your cultural glasses, you will spend years believing you have no friends. You will spend years believing that people are rejecting you. It is about changing these cultural glasses. This is when you know that an Indian bus stop is full and that you need to stand.

What happens if you sit in the middle?

It could very well be that one of the two persons stands up, takes a step aside, starts playing on his phone. Now, what if you look different? What if you're wearing a religious symbol? How easy it is to believe that the person has moved away because you're of a different skin colour or of a different religion? A typical cultural misunderstanding and a very basic of human interactions: you've came into the personal space of someone who has a much bigger personal space. In most cultures in the world, there's place for 4 people on that bench. Not understanding these very subtle physical differences with people will actually lead to lot of miscommunication. 

It is quite understood and seen prominently in cultures also being able to feel the distance between people which varies in every culture not to forget to keep politeness as priority. Politeness is a concept which is very much culturally related. It's a group of norms and social codes that everyone obeys to, so that communication goes well in the society and in certain societies it is very strict.

You change the way - you're changing the words in the sentence.

In other places, politeness might only mean not to disturb others, to leave more space, both in friendship and physical space. And if you happen to move to another country where there is no one who defines you what politeness means, how can you expect that someone will behave.

The key here is to benefit from diversity.

Everyone sees the world through cultural glasses. It's not about what you see; it's about what you perceive. It's not about what you see; it's about what you perceive. And it is by taking small step that we will one day help the world to truly benefit from diversity.