What Reality are you Creating For Yourself ?

When Rani was a little girl, she was fascinated by her goldfish which her father gifted her and had explained her about fish swim quickly swinging their tails to push themselves through the water. Without hesitation, little Rani responded, “Yes, Daddy, and fish swim backwards by swinging their heads.” In her mind, it was a fact as true as any other. Fish swim backwards by swinging their heads. She believed it.

Our lives are full of fishes swimming backwards.

We make assumptions and faulty leaps of logic. We know that we are right, and they are wrong. We fear the worst. We strive for unattainable perfection. We tell ourselves what we can and cannot do. In our minds, fish swim by in reverse madly swinging their heads and we don’t even notice them.

I’m going to mention five facts about myself. You need to honestly guess which

One fact is not true. :

One: I graduated from Mumbai University at 21 with specialisation in Electronics Engineering.

Two: I am currently home like everyone around the world due to the pandemic.

Three: I once rode a Harley Davidson Motorcycle.

Four: I have Dual Vision, an eye condition known as Diplopia.

Four: I served as a client servicing executive in two Advertising Agencies for over seven years.

Question : Which fact is not true?

Answer : Non of above. They’re all true.

At this point, you seem to only care about the diplopia? Why is that?

We make assumptions about so-called disabilities. I confront others wrong assumptions about my abilities every single day. My point today is not about my condition, however. It’s about my vision. Getting a double vision condition taught me to live my life with eyes wide open. It taught me to spot those backwards-swimming fish that our minds create. Double vision added me to see two images at one time and simultaneously I adapted to cast them into focus.

What does it feel like to see?

It’s immediate and passive. You open your eyes and there’s the world around you see and you believe what you see. Sight is absolute truth, right?

Well, for all these years that’s what I thought too. Then, in 2015 I had a motorcycle accident which left me with a squint causing the double vision issue. My sight became an increasingly bizarre, funhouse hall of mirrors and confusing. The salesperson I was relieved to spot in a store was really a mannequin. Reaching to fill my glass with water on dinner table, I suddenly saw the water was more on the table and very less in the glass, when my shirt sleeves felt wet. Objects appeared, repeated and overlapping in my reality. It was difficult and exhausting to see with both eyes open.

I learned that what we see is not universal truth. It is not objective reality. What we see is a unique, personal, virtual reality that is masterfully constructed by our brain. Let me explain as per my bit of neuroscience research. Our visual cortex takes up about 30% of our brain as compared to approximately 8% for touch and 2% to 3% for hearing. Every second, our eyes can send our visual cortex as many as two billion pieces of information. The rest of our body can send our brain only an additional billion. So sight is one-third of your brain by volume and can claim about two-thirds of your brain’s processing resources. It’s no surprise than that the illusion of sight is so compelling. But make no mistake about it: sight is an illusion.

So here it goes, to create the experience of sight, our brain refers our conceptual understanding of the world and other knowledge like memories, opinions, emotions, mental attention and so on where all of these understandings are linked in our brain to our sight. These linkages work both ways, and usually occur subconsciously. Therefore, what we see impacts how we feel, and the way we feel can literally change what we saw. Numerous studies demonstrate this.
Example: In school the subjects most of us do not like is Mathematics. I had my issues with mathematics where at large I didn’t like the teacher or I found it too boring or had the universal reason of not getting good marks even after studying and hence I was a low baller in mathematics.

We have arrived at a fundamental contradiction of what we see is a complex mental construction of our own making, but we experience it passively as a direct representation of the world around us. You create your own reality, and you believe it. I believed mine until it broke apart. The state of my eyes shattered the illusion, sight is just one way we shape our reality. We create our own realities in many other ways.
Consider ‘fear’ as just one example:
Our fears distort our reality. Under the warped logic of fear, anything is better than the uncertain. Fear fills the void at all costs, passing off what we fear for what we know, offering up the worst in place of the uncertain, substituting assumption for reason. 
When we face the greatest need to look outside ourselves and think critically, fear beats a retreat deep inside our mind, shrinking and distorting our view, drowning capacities for critical thought with disruptive emotions. When we face a compelling opportunity to take action, fear calms us into inaction, tempting us to sit back and just give up.
When I was diagnosed with diplopia, I knew dual vision would have a deep impact to my life. Indirectly it was a death sentence for my independence. It was the end of achievements for me. Dual vision meant I would live an unremarkable life, small, sad, and likely alone. I knew it. This was a fiction born of my fears, but I believed it. It was a lie, but it was my reality, just like those backwards-swimming fish in little Rani’s mind. If I had not confronted the reality of my fear, I would have lived it. I am certain of that.
So how do you live your life eyes wide open?
It is a learned discipline. It can be taught. It can be practiced. I will summarise it briefly:
It’s a simple tool called as “Who does it belong to?”
It is based on the argument that 98% of your thoughts, feelings and your emotions do not belong to you. They actually belong to the people around you and you are picking them up. When you feel them you keep thinking that they are yours.
What if they are not yours?
Now imagine if 98% of the stuff that was in your head yesterday didn’t have to be there tomorrow. That’s what this tool can do for you.
How does it work?
For every thought, feeling, emotion, judgement, point-of-view or heaviness you are holding on to for a couple of days, if you ask “WHO DOES IT BELONG TO?” and if it lightens up at all, it’s not yours. It actually belongs to somebody else, you are picking them up at the time. If it lightens up all you need to do is to return it to the sender just add saying “ I return it to the sender with consciousness attached.”

You say :
“ WHO DOES IT BELONG TO? I RETURN IT TO THE SENDER WITH CONSCIOUSNESS ATTACHED.”
Open your hearts to your bountiful blessings. Your fears, internal critics, fiction heroes, fiction villains are all your excuses, interpretations, shortcuts, justifications and surrender. They are fictions you perceive as reality. Choose to see through them. Choose to let them go. You are the creator of your reality. With that empowerment comes complete responsibility. I chose to step out of fear’s tunnel into terrain uncharted and undefined. I chose to build there a blessed life.

What do you fear?
What lies do you tell yourself?
How do you define your truth and write your own fictions?
What reality are you creating for yourself?
WHO DOES IT BELONG TO?
In your career, personal life, relationships, and in the heart and soul, that backwards-swimming fish does great harm. They exact a toll in missed opportunities and unrealised potential, and they cause insecurity and distrust where you seek fulfillments and connection. I urge you to search them out.
“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”
For me, that incident was a profound blessing, because diplopia gave me vision. I hope you can see what I see.
AND FISHES DO NOT SWIM BACKWARDS SWINGING THEIR HEAD.
Though there are species such as the Eel who use eel-like locomotion to move their elongated bodies do swim backwards.

MONEY, a cultural taboo!!

 

We've heard people say that there is only one path to success and happiness. Going to school, getting good grades, getting into a good college, graduating to get a job, finding your partner, getting promoted, buying a car, a home and one day you will be happy. Like everyone I too am following that path and through all the trials and tribulations the financial disasters and successes. I realised that discussion about life milestones was actually a discussion about money. So, why is it that we talk religiously about achieving all these in life, avoiding the topic that runs it - M.O.N.E.Y. The reason behind why are we taught history and chemistry but not about Banking and investments. The topic of money impacting our abilities to have the best of lives is avoided. We are indirectly having these conversations about money already by the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the homes we live in and the photos we share on social media ! #just_saying 

Financial knowledge is life-changing and has empowered me to get from where I was to where I am today. Let’s understand and break the social taboo about money beginning with asking ourselves “WHAT IS MONEY TO US?”. Most of us have answers as common to:

1) Money is power 

2) Money is evil 

3) Money makes me feel good 

4) Money is something that is necessary 

The answer to that question explains  your relationship with money . Eliminating that any of those answers are wrong but simply money is a tool we need and we need to master earning it.  In order for us to achieve our best lives, we do not think of money as something more than a tool. But a tool that we need in order to build the life we dreamt of.The life that would make us proud so making us assume that money is a very complicated topic. Though there are simple truths about money which we fail to see, understand and imply in our lives. Here are five practices: 

1. Save more than you can spend. 

2. Invest early and frequently. 

3. Pay the debt and use credit occasionally. 

4. Build assets 

5. Have multiple and passive incomes. 

SIMPLE & EASY !

Financial Well Being 

Money, well being and financial wellness is something that empowers every individual. It sparks the curiosity when it funnels down to a fairly misunderstood concept that it's boring or it's not engaging enough. Everyone of us has either bought our friends a drink or split it. We tend to split the bill to a limit  where we had a salad and the friend had an appetiser wit dessert for dinner. The philosophy of purposeful living can be achieved through financial decision making. Financial wellness is about our health, wealth and the overall quality of life. It is has never been financial goals on the contrary it is about life goals. Let’s close our eyes, envision our dream lifestyle and ask ourselves: “What brings joy and happiness into my life?” 

We start thinking about our current financial realities - monthly instalments to the car, calling debtors, need of taking care of our ageing parents and their health care expenses. The chances are having thoughts about our financial situation but unable to think about the dream lifestyle. If there were no income goals or financial obligations how we spend our time defines our values and we trade our time for a pay check. We work 8 hours a day and five days a week for it ignoring the truth of loosing on something more priceless being our lives. The thought of expenses that do not matter to us makes it a complete waste. Therefore, what a waste of lives.

 How we knew everything about money?

1. Our parents must have taken out time and explained us through their learnings and definitions about money.

2. We are fortunate enough to take birth in a wealthy family.

It was easier for my parents to talk about religion, politics, career options and future responsibilities. Parents are hard-working, they make sure that we as their children have the best of food, shelter and clothes to wear whereas, they did not want us to think about money terming it as an offence. I still remember the day of my first pay check ,I held it in my hand and stared at it thinking I had my own money and I didn't have to go to my parents asking them.  Growing up I believed that money is the only answer to all problems leading me chasing money instead of chasing the purpose of life. I cleared entrance exams for admission and that followed an internship leading to multiple jobs. Motive was to stay happy one day!

With the past and present I had many unspoken realities, I started blogging. My family always wanted to know my plan for life because the goal is to provide access and information, to be open about my story. After spending years meeting people, jobs, failures and experiences I realised that the secrets of financial wellness and well-being is having a VISION for our lives. That vision can change our hopes and dreams. In our thoughts it is important when we are talking about money we need to clarify our values. We need a financial plan in order to do so.

I want to close off by mentioning that one Sunday Morning rides, we had been to a place nearby called the fog city, Igatpuri. It is indeed a beautiful place and I remember standing there staring out into the mountain range and seeing the morning dew. I was completely fascinated like I can be here forever. Well until that moment of mine was disrupted when two ridding pals said this is the same thing over and over again. As we were about to leave, I realised that we could be listening, watching or experiencing a repetitive or similar expression directly depends on how we perceive it. For the matter of fact, how we perceive that can be quite different. My learnings for that day was “Our perception is what matters and we can change our perspectives. When it comes to money we clear about our financial situation. As we accept that reality we start sharing our financial stories of success and failure.We give hope out to others where hope is hearing other people's experiences. Our ability to share the information or experiences to others empowers individuals. Now is when they realise that their situation is not something without a solution. I challenge you today to break the social taboo about money, free yourself from any shame, guilt or judgment you have had about your finances. Give hope to others and to yourself too. Believe that knowledge is power and financial knowledge is life-changing. This realisation mere understanding will make you happy that very moment.